Forgiveness Is Not Easy

A new twitter friend, @forgiveforgetme, told me about a wonderful blog post on Jacee's Blog called "My Spiritual Studies and Such". The post is entitled "How to Forgive Others and Take Back Your Power" and I found it to be very informative. The post contained 10 Steps to Forgiving. I found it to be very inspiring and I plan to utilize many of the '10 Steps' one day, but I do not feel I am ready to forgive at this moment.

I am still struggling with the idea of forgiving my mother for the hurtful things that she did to me. I know on some level that I need to forgive her for my own sake. I also know that forgiving her does not mean I am saying that what she did was okay, because it was Not. I just feel that I need to work on getting in touch with that hurt little girl inside me and helping her before I dismiss the sins of the woman who created the hurt in that little girl.

I know that I feel a tremendous amount of anger that is only hurting me, but that little girl inside me needs someone to validate her pain. Since my mother is unable or unwilling to validate anything, then I (the adult me) am the only other person in the world who will be able to do that. When I reach that little girl, then I will be able to rescue her, and at that time, I may be able to forgive my mother for being the hateful, hurtful, malicious, person that she is. Forgiveness may be the best thing for me to do, but it also may be the hardest.